It’s Contract Week

A word about the process of becoming a physician in this country. Two words actually. It’s hell.

Pure hell. Plain and simple and sweltering. It’s particularly difficult for those with the inconvenient tag “FMG” meaning foreign medical graduate. Never mind that Carlos has two extra years of medical school under his belt, or that he has more clinical experience than U.S. graduates can shake their latex gloved fists at. FMGs have it tough. The chances of getting into a residency in this country are slim to none for them.

But as you all know, Carlos did get a residency. Not only that, we were spared the torture of the dreaded “Match.” Pre-matches are a thing of mythical proportions, and every single FMG dreams of one. They’re not the most common things in the world, but Carlos got one (on the last year of the pre-match’s existence no less) so to Phoenix we will go. This week should be extra exciting. It’s contract week! That beloved time in the lives of matched new residents when thick packets of pre employment papers, benefits outlines and contracts arrive.

We’ve got our eyes glued to the mailbox.

Absentee blogger

I know, I know. I swore I wouldn’t abandon my blog again.

I haven’t, I promise. Actually I have quite a good reason for my lack of blogging. Aside from near constant rain which inevitably leads to grumpy, wet, muddy horses. I am moving!

Yes, I did just move to a farm. No that farm isn’t going anywhere. Cardinal Ridge Farm (www.cardinalridgenc.com) is the family farm and is home to- yep, you guessed it-  a lot of my family. Carlos and I are leaving and everyone else is staying. To be specific, Carlos and I, our two cats Moonchie and Panterita and our horse Willow are moving to Phoenix, Arizona.

Carlos is a physician. Having graduated in his native Venezuela, we have been in a long and arduous struggle with a lovely organization called the ECFMG. It is an organization which was somehow granted the authority to certify foreign doctors by comparing their medical education to the U.S. system. Basically it is about bureaucracy and paperwork. Lots and lots of paperwork. It’s been a three year process, during which Carlos took a series of eight hour board exams and generally studied his butt off. Long story short, after the fight of our lives, Carlos was finally certified. He applied for several residency programs all over the country and was granted several interviews. I’ll be honest with everyone. My husband is a damn good doctor, but half of all U.S. applicants don’t get positions let alone foreign graduates. Things looked pretty grim. Lo and behold though, Carlos was offered a “pre-match” which basically means that a program wanted him so badly they offered him a contract outside of the match. The Match is a computer system which uses an algorithm to “match” applicants to programs based on a ranking system. All results are released in March. He didn’t have to go through that, and never will again!

So that’s it. The next three to four years of our lives will be spent thirty five hours from home. We spent the past week in the Valley of the Sun looking for houses. Forgive me if my posts are sparse, there is a lot to do to move our little household across the country!

Big news

So many things have changed since the last time I’ve posted here.

Willow and I are doing really well getting to know each other. We haven’t been riding too consistently due to the fact that I’ve been out of town for two weeks visiting family from Venezuela. In the meantime though, my cousin Stefanie has been riding her. She’s been doing well but apparently was a little spooky last week. I was a little nervous to hop on her yesterday because she has been acting “hot.” But as always, her attitude completely shifts as soon as she gets the tack on. She was calm as can be! She took really good care of me and we were able to get in a good workout. The footing in our makeshift arena was pretty slippery due to the morning’s frost and she has new shoes on so we were sliding a bit, but otherwise everything was great. The best part though was when we were ready to cool down, we left the ring and headed out to the back field- 20 some acres of green grass and rolling hills! We walked around the perimeter with my cousin and my other cousin’s pony. It was a really great experience. Today we’ll try to work out in the field some.

Ok, ok, so what is this big news? Well, we’re moving! Carlos was offered a contract at a hospital in Phoenix, Arizona so to Phoenix we are going, horse, cats and all. We will be moving around April or May as his job begins in June. He is officially Maricopa Medical Center’s newest Internal Medicine resident! I am so proud of him! It’s been a long and difficult path and at several points we thought we’d have to return to Venezuela. He kept going though and gave it all he had. He passed all of his licensing exams on the first attempt (a big deal) and helped his university during the excruciating process of getting “ECFMG” certified. He did it though, and we’re moving! I’ve already found a lovely facility where I will board Willow. We’re going to Phoenix at the end of January to check out the town and see a few barns so I will make the final decision then. One of the best parts about this move is that one of the larger jumper circuits in the USA is located on Tucson- a two hour drive from Phoenix! It’s called HITS Arizona. We’re looking forward to competing!

Well, off to clean the barn and the ponies! Happy new year!

What would my life have been…

If I hadn’t been standing in that precise location on that specific day. We’ve bought a farm. Closing is on Thursday and then we’re all moving up to Richfield. This means that my focus is on horses, buying one, leasing one, training one and paying for one. Because of that, I drove to my old stomping grounds in Concord, NC. As I passed the Charlotte Motor Speedway, a mile or so up on the right was an old abandoned farm, barely recognizable with the overgrown pastures. It was an instant flashback to when I was a young teenager, standing with my Mom in the pasture as a car rolled slowly up the driveway, kicking up dust as it did. We were both mesmerized by it, having the distinct ear-buzzing feeling that something important was happening. There was a glitch in the matrix. That important thing stepped out of the car a few moments later, to which I commented “Ew! He looks like a total prep-school idiot” (If you’re reading this, I didn’t mean it…well ok, I did.)

As I passed this place yesterday on my way to the feed store, Mercedes Sosa’s classic song “Todo Cambia” was playing. Todo Cambia means Everything Changes, and I was overcome by just how much my life has changed since that…yes, its cheesey…fateful moment. Ok, it wasn’t all sunshine and puppies, and the situation ultimately ended in heartbreak, but it did one immensely important thing for me. It brought me to Venezuela. Had I not been in that precise place at the exact time, I wouldn’t have even thought about going to Venezuela. (“Where is that place anyway? Eastern Europe?” I once asked V. I was joking…really.) I wouldn’t know what an arepa is, and I wouldn’t have lived some of my favorite memories. Most importantly, I would never have met Carlos.

My life has changed in ways I won’t even bother writing about. Almost every single minor detail of my life has changed as a result of that one moment. I will always be grateful for that.

I mean heck…I’m biligual and a dual citizen (almost!)

That’s not me

There was this fashion show. I spent two weeks preparing for it. I bought a dress, shoes, jewelry, a fake tan, a hair cut, and everything else. I tried really hard to be “that person.”  You know, the one who is always very put together: perfect makeup, hair, nails manicured, and always fashionable. I tried really hard, and I even thought I had pulled it off. I was completely red carpet ready. This event was advertised as high-end, a who’s who kind of thing. There would be a red carpet, photographers, wine and champagne abounding. But I’m not that person, and today I feel foolish for even bothering. I feel foolish for letting my expectations get the best of me, and I am resolved to only be who I really am. I can be fashionable and put together, but not in an obsessive kind of way. Yes, I will leave the house without makeup (only when I’m not in Venezuela though.) I will bite my nails and not really care too much that they are not perfectly polished. I will even go a few weeks without waxing my eyebrows. But I love good food, wine, and yes, even fashion. I can appreciate those things without being a slave to them, because I also love the mountains, and the crisp air in October. I can still smell apples from the orchard near the house I grew up in, even though I am hundreds of miles away. I love foreign countries, especially if I can live there illegally for some time, and then live there legally too. I love that Venezuela isn’t perfect, but the women, my friends, think they are.

I arrived to the fashion show with high expectations, only to find out it had been horribly over sold, and a building with a capacity of 600 was filled with 1300 people, most of them wearing skimpy clothes that didn’t even begin to resemble anything truly fashionable in the least. I felt out-of-place because I wore something with color – a beautiful Halston Heritage 1 shoulder caftan dress. I sat at the front row VIP table with the who’s who of the event, but I couldn’t breathe because I felt like a sardine. I took my red carpet photo, but sweaty from the stress of catering the event and trying to fit in.

In the end, I realized I can fit into that scene if I want to… but do I want to?

Can you tell I love ee cummings?

This was shared with me this morning and it made me feel very grateful so I thought I’d share it here! Beautiful. Can you tell I love ee cummings?

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

-ee cummings

This is a good thing

I’ve spent the last half hour uploading hundreds of old-ish photos to my new flickr account (it uploads so darn fast!) an it’s really given me a chance to remember some things I’d forgotten. This is a good thing.

First of all, I’ve had an adventurous life! No, I’ve not been backpacking in Europe, but I have been on a 16 hour-long bus ride sans air conditioning from Big Low in Valencia to Puerto Ayacucho, Amazonas. I’ve crossed a river on a “chalana” (or raft) at sunrise with a double-decker bus almost tipping over. I’ve jumped into a natural jacuzzi on a natural rock slide in the Amazon jungle. It was a deep (and I mean deep, no one has touched the bottom) hole in the middle of a large, smooth rock. I’ve taken the bus all by myself from Valencia to Tucacas and back again twice and lived to tell the tale (you’ll notice that many of my adventures in Venezuela have to do with busses. There’s a reason for that.) I’ve been rappelling in Las Chimeneas in Valencia. I’ve spent ample time at some of the most beautiful beaches in the world. I’ve been an illegal alien in a third world country. I’ve nearly been deported. I’ve bribed numerous officials in Venezuela. And most importantly, I’ve travelled to a foreign country with a false promise, had my expectations broken down around me, yet come out of it a better person.

I’ll tell a quick story about a life changing moment for me in Venezuela, and one that ultimately led me to meet Carlos. After arriving in 2007 and realizing that the reason I went there (we’ll call him “V”) wasn’t a reason anymore, I was so lonely and miserable for several weeks. I had decided to stay the full two months anyway, but I was beginning to regret it. One night, while sitting in my room in the big and beautiful house in El Parral, I made a decision. I would walk down to the little club on the corner in the vibrant Las 4 Avenidas and sit there until I made a friend. It was a desperate move, but it paid off. So I walked, in the middle of the night (something V had been obsessed with preventing) to a bar which was not-so-creatively named “Drinking Bar”. It was a hole in the wall where almost everyone my age would go. You would go inside, buy a beer, and then come outside to hang around and drink it. Nothing fancy, but it was full of the typical 4 Avenidas kids. The “sifrinos”. I bought myself a beer, propped myself up against the wall that separated the outside part of the bar with the street, and I sat there. That’s all I did. I sat and waited. I even stooped so low as to play with my phone, which wasn’t even connected. I pretended to be doing something very important. I was truly desperate. Finally, two people recognized two things. 1. I was a gringa and 2. I didn’t know anyone. They took mercy on me. Their names are Nairy and Vanessa. We became best friends. They approached me, and recognizing my foreign-ness, spoke to me in English. We all lived only a few blocks from there, and for all the years I lived in Venezuela, I was never lonely again. They brought me to the place where I met Carlos. Halfway through that vacation I nearly gave up, and I hopped on the bus back to Valencia, ready to pack up and go back home to the states. They convinced me to return, so back I went on the bus to Tucacas. That night I met Carlos. I miss them. I still speak to Nairy (although not as often as I should.) Unfortunately, Vanessa passed away about two years ago from cancer. She was 25 I believe.

Through this adventure of uploading photos, I’ve come to realize that I have had an amazing and privileged life.

Church of the Magic Flying Bubbles

Carlos thinks I go to the “Church of the Magic Flying Bubbles”. I think it’s hilarious. Let me explain…

Carlos is a devout catholic. I’m not. I tend to be less religious and more spiritual. I kind of think that the idea of God is too complicated for us and it’s impossible to understand with our human minds, therefor, I just accept that there is a cause to the un-caused cause and that must be God. I talk to God. A lot. I have a great personal relationship with God, but I don’t go to church because I’m not sure I need or want a middle man between me and God. That being said, I love going to church. In particular to mass. Something about so many people focused on the same thing and the same time is really uplifting. This is why I like group meditation, dance, etc. It seems that any kind of ritual (which is what going to church is) focuses the mind enough on the task at hand to help you to find what it is you’re seeking.

I believe in a lot of other things I won’t mention here for lack of time, and Carlos’ interpretation of those things lead him to jokingly refer to it as the “Church of the Flying Bubbles.” I think what happened was that, in viewing some pictures, I jokingly referred to the dust orbs as “spirits” and that was it. To Carlos they were my magic flying bubbles.

I think it’s adorable, and so I’ve adopted that name as well.

I’m back, but not really

I realize that in order to expect people to actually read your blog, it’s probably best to actually write in it. Hmm… I still haven’t learned that lesson! I refuse, I repeat, I refuse to have this blog disappear, even if it does take me months to feel like writing again.

Ok, enough of that. It’s the first week of April and the weather is bipolar. Last week it was stormy and 39 and today it’s sunny and it’s expected to reach 70. The trees are green again and there are flowers everywhere. I am currently sitting on my computer at our uptown bakery waiting for someone…anyone…to come in and buy some pastries. Weekends are slow but I expect that this will become my normal writing time.

Just as I wrote that about 20 people came in, all wanting lattes. Which is great actually because we’re normally so slow on the weekends. It must be the change in weather that is bringing everyone out today.

My last post was back in September of last year (oh the shame!) and it was about my chronic travel bug. Well, it’s still there. The only difference is that then, I wanted desperately to leave the country. Now, all I want is to travel to the Appalachian mountains of North Carolina, in my own state. I’ve fallen head over heels in love with them. I go there any chance I get, which is pretty often since I live only an hour and a half from the hub of the mountains, the wonderful city of Asheville.

In other news, Carlos is still taking his medical licensing tests. To kill time, he is volunteering at a great little clinic about halfway between Charlotte and Asheville. The bonus? It’s a free clinic which serves a lot of migrant workers and low income agricultural workers which gives him the opportunity to use both  English and Spanish. He made the most amazing comment to me last week, and it gave me a quick glimpse of what the future might hold. He said “I just want to get my license so I can volunteer every day at that clinic.”

That’s how he is. Healthcare is a right, not a luxury, and he would give anything to spend his days practicing at a place like that. I saw us living in that area, maybe with a little cabin, perhaps opening an Amelie’s in Asheville. It’s a great thought for sure.

 

The bug

Oh no… I have the travel bug again. I guess it’s due to feeling stagnant here, surrounded by less-than-honest coworkers and people who think they are oh-so-smart yet act oh-so-stupidly plus having had out of town (out of country) house guests this past week. I have an overwhelming desire to use the geographic cure and escape somewhere far away. The North Carolina mountains would suffice, but then there is the issue of me always wanting to move to the places I visit for a minimum of a few months. Can I have that life please? I’ll work the rest of the year, but give me three months each year to live somewhere else- preferably somewhere abroad. I think I was born to be an ex-pat.

For now I’ll take a campsite in the woods… just give me a little stream with a swimming hole and I’m set.

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